I want to tell you living big is easy, but that’s a lie

I want to make a difference in this life.

I want to help people.

I feel like I’m on a mission.

I want to combine <two or three things that don’t seem to fit together> as an offering, but I’m not sure how to make it work.

I feel like I have a larger planetary purpose – but I feel silly admitting that.

I don’t know how to be bigger in the world while managing my sensitivities.

I want to be bigger, but my body is in so much pain / my health keeps derailing.


All of this.

This is what you’ve been coming to me with. This is what you’ve been saying to me. This is the theme.

You are sensitive. Been that way your whole life. You’re starting to get a handle on it now – maybe you’ve done a course or two (maybe even one of mine), worked with a coach, shaman, or energy healer. You’ve embraced all of who you are.

And now you feel more confident in your inner wisdom. Your guidance. Your inner voice. The whispers of your soul.

But hearing whispers and having big ideas are very far removed from taking the very big steps to being seen.

Maybe you want to start your own business. Maybe you have an idea to pitch to the world. Maybe you finally want to pursue a career that is fulfilling. Maybe you want to take that exotic vacation, live abroad, study something “out there,” cut ties from your family, come out – or otherwise live in the world differently than you’re doing now. And it feels unsafe.




Dangerous, even.

Because living big – having that life you’ve always dreamed about – requires you to be seen in big and bold ways. And that kind of attention is usually something that sensitive people have avoided.

And I wish I could tell you that I had a solution. That’s why you’re reading this, right? That’s what all the scripts and blogging formulas tell me to write. Find your audience’s point of pain, they say, and then give them the solution.

I don’t have a big, sparkly solution. All I know for sure is that living from your center, with all your energy intact and focused in the direction that YOU desire, is SO worth it. Because it’s freedom.

Life is more nuanced than a one-sized-fits-all solution to our goals (because, seriously – have you ever tried to fit into one-sized-fits-all-leggings? These thighs are nowhere near that mold). I don’t have a bulletproof, step-by-step, cookie-cutter system for living large while sensitive. I do know that it requires self-reflection. I know that it requires learning to trust intuition and our inner knowing. It demands courage. Faith and confidence. And that when you gain confidence, you’re close.

That doesn’t mean that confidence takes the fear away. No. The fear doesn’t go away. But it does become more manageable. Which is good, because you can take all kinds of inner steps to living big, but at the end of the day you just have to put yourself out there. You just have to be willing to say, Wow, this is scary. And I’m doing it anyway.

Make the leap. Be willing to fall. To fail. To wind up a little (or a lot) broken.

Because here’s the thing – that could happen.

That’s not a popular thing for a spiritual teacher like myself to say. I think I’m supposed to say something like, Leap, and the net will catch you. 

The truth is that it might not. Or at least, not in the way you expect.

So many spiritual teachings, a la The Law of Attraction and The Secret, tell us that if we just want something enough, in our heart of hearts, we can get it. And if we fail to get what we want, we’re just not wishing / praying / envisioning / hard enough. Except that this “secret” leaves so much out of the equation. Here are just two:

  1. It assumes that we all start out on equal footing. That social, political and cultural contexts do not exist or don’t matter. That is false. True, they don’t matter in the spiritual realm, but they matter a hell of a lot in the physical realm (i.e. this planet that you’re on). As a woman, I face greater challenges to making as much money as a man over the course of my lifetime, especially because I’ve had a child, and because of institutionalized way we place more value on men. If I’m a woman of color, I’ll face even more challenges. Doors open more for men in our culture. White men, that is. These are the facts of our physical world – no amount of “visualizing” them away changes things on the ground. This type of work must be done both in the subtle and the physical realm. In other words, we must visualize the world we want and work on the ground to achieve it.
  2. It assumes that the spirit works in logical ways that cater to human norms, and that the spirit has the same desires as the mind. Studies in Ayurvedic Medicine, yoga and energy medicine show us that this is simply not the case. The spirit wants to learn and grow. Sometimes, the best way to achieve that is through suffering in the body. Or a challenging relationship. Tell me – which did you learn more from, your easier experiences or your difficult ones?

Faulty spiritual laws or not – for us subtle sensors, who hang out so much in the subtle chakras, it’s rarely the case that we don’t visualize well enough to reach our goals. It’s that we aren’t as good at making the practical, on-the-ground, tangible plans and connections in order to bring and idea to life.

So what I’m saying is that yes, you should visualize the life you want. But that’s not all – you also need to do the on-the-ground work – personal, spiritual and practical – to help you get there.

Be open to the possibility that things might not work the way you’d like or expect. You might do all the “right” things (“right” by logical standards), and it still might not work. You might clear all your chakras and do all the prayers and eat clean and meditate and chant and practice yoga and say mantras, and it still might not work. The spirit might have a different lesson to teach. And the whole process might still be scary. The “net,” as you imagine it, might still fail to be there.

But you know what will be there? Those who have come before you. We are the net to help you make the leap to live bigger.

I am there. Other sensitive, creative pioneers are there. We’ve tried. We’ve failed. We’ve tried again. We’ve walked through the fire of fear to come out with our eyebrows burned off and feeling slightly raw and crispy. But we keep going back anyway. The dreams we have call for it. We are always waiting for another sensitive to step into her power and join us in forging a new way forward. In creating a new culture. In offering something timely and deeply satisfying.

Oh, you haven’t found us? That’s because we tend to think we are all alone. We tend to move in small circles. Two, maybe three of us at time. We seem secretive – really, we’re just shy with our big ideas. We don’t go out much. We meet each other through friends of friends who had a dream that we should know each other. We take walks in the woods and drink large cups of coffee or whiskey or decaf tea while discussing how to bring meta ideas onto the ground.

This is a time when the world needs you, Sensitive One, and what so many of you have been telling me lately is that you’re ready to answer the call. You just don’t know how. Or who can help you.

Getting big and getting seen and playing a bigger part in the world is scary. At some point, you’ll simply have to bite back the fear and leap.

I can help you to listen more to that intuitive wisdom. I can help you get clear and confident. I can give you tools to fortify yourself, to remove the perfectionism that’s choking you, to help you understand what attention and risk will feel like.

There is no one-sized-fits-all, easily-packaged-and-sold system for getting you there. I have tools. And so many thoughts. And services. And soon, I will have a community. It’s still in the works; my cohort and I are calling it The Movement, for lack of any better term. And we’ll be introducing it this fall.

Getting big in your life – putting yourself at center stage and really living from your heart, from your truth – isn’t easy. But it’s so, so worth it.



2 Comments on “I want to tell you living big is easy, but that’s a lie”

  1. All I could add is: THIS!!!

    Thank you for speaking in your authentic voice about what us HSPs go through in trying to make change – and the pitfalls of believing we just have to wish for things and they will come, through the sheer goodness of the Universe and our actions. It’s our bravery to leave that bubble-wrapped comfort zone that helps sensitives to contribute from our truest selves, thrive in our own heart, and make the contribution to the world we were meant to make.

    I landed on your blog after searching for info on back pain and SIBO. I’ll stay on it because I love your voice and the intelligent encouragement it gives me!

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