Tool #4: The First Essential Step to Healing: Havingness

As we start to move into the holiday season, we often start to think of all the things we’re asked to give. Give thanks, give presents, give time, give energy, give give give give give. Don’t get me wrong, giving is great! When done in the right attitude, it helps us cultivate gratitude, which helps us find more contentment and ultimately, joy.

The work I do is mainly with highly sensitive people. Those of us who are sensitive know how to give — it’s part of our nature. Being sensitive often means that you’re very aware of the emotions of others and often feel uncomfortable around negative energy. Because the sensitive body is so affected by the energy of others, sensitive individuals often avoid conflict in order to shield themselves from energy onslaught. Often times, this creates a sensitive person who has learned to give or accommodate under almost any circumstances.

But one thing that these clients often lack is the ability to receive and to own something simply in order to have it for themselves. Instead, everything they allow themselves to receive is because it will somehow benefit someone other then themselves. They feel a tremendous amount of guilt when it comes to having something that is just their own, a secret jewel just for them, just because. In healing, we have to be able to HAVE and receive healing in order for us to heal.

Sounds simple, right?

For so many of us, we practice giving on a daily basis — that is, giving to others. What we don’t do is practice giving love, affection, or attention to ourselves. One of the primary reasons I see clients struggle with healing is a failure to allow themselves to have it. This often manifests as an underlying belief in their deservedness to have or to receive.

What if we were all allowed to have everything we wanted, as long as the desire was manifested in our hearts and fed by Source energy? Guess what, we do! Our deepest desires and fears are reflected to us in our reality. The spirit knows it can have whatever it needs to learn and grow, plus the things it wants to keep the body comfortable while achieving growth. But so often, our bodies and minds have been programmed into believing that we have to be deserving of something in order for us to have it.

The spirit world doesn’t work that way. It is human to say that something is right or wrong, good or bad, or that someone is deserving or undeserving. The spirit world doesn’t see good or bad, right or wrong, it just sees what is. I’m sure we can all think of someone who is a total schmuck who has everything they want. That person may have a sketchy moral character, but they also have high havingness.

Havingness = our ability to have.

Think about how much you really let yourself have. I know that in my life, I have high havingness in learning experiences, good cars, keeping good friends and living in beautiful places, to name a few. Where I’m constantly working on my havingness is in my ability to receive and believe praise and in my finances.

Our level of havingness affects our health and healing, too. If you’ve been struggling with your health, take a moment to check in with yourself and notice how much you’re able to let yourself have healing. Be honest with yourself. I check in using a psychic tool and visualize a gauge out in front of me, but you can also simply ask yourself how much you let yourself have your healing and trust the first answer you get. Maybe it says, “40%.” Ouch, but you can work with that and raise it up.

In a reading, I can help you look at your havingness and help you discover what is keeping you from having your health and healing. From my experience from working with clients, I find that it often comes from a feeling of not being deserving, not being good enough, not knowing who you would be as a healthy person and being afraid to find out, being afraid of losing the attention that being ill attracts, and believing that you are a victim of your own body.

You are none of those things. You are an infinitely creative spirit in a body that you created.

Our body puts out signals to alert us that something is wrong. In order to fix it, we first need to tune in and try to figure out what our body needs from us. Next, we need to seek a treatment that resonates with us. We also need to identify and release the energy, belief systems or programs that made us ill in the first place. But in order to all of that, we must first believe that we can have our health and healing. We must first believe that we truly own our bodies.

How do we create havingness? Raising our havingness is a practice that involves understanding that we are inherently deserving of having the life and health that we desire and that when our health is off, it is our choice whether to stay a victim or take action. Taking action means more than going through the motions of healing — it means digging deep and noticing whether there are beliefs you have about yourself that need to change and then making a commitment to changing those no matter how uncomfortable or ego-compromising it is.

When I notice my havingness is low for a particular area in my life, there are two ways I deal with it. First, I ask myself why my havingness might be low. Usually, I notice it’s because it deals with an area of my life that I’m not completely comfortable in, have been hurt in, or haven’t wanted to look at. Next, I ask myself, “What’s my first step to raising havingness?” Usually, my body asks me to release an old belief I have. As I work on releasing it, I replace it with a positive, concrete affirmation. For example, if I have low havingness about finances and my spirit tells me it’s because my belief says that making money isn’t spiritual, I might use the affirmation, “When I prosper in my divinely-inspired mission, the world prospers with me.”

There is a psychic tool for increasing havingness that’s a bit more simple if you have a regular meditation practice. After grounding and calling back your energy, you can imagine a bubble out in front of you. In the bubble, as a gauge to appear with your level of havingness. Notice the number. Now ground your gauge to the center of the planet and allow the grounding chord to release from the gauge any energy that’s not allowing you to have what you want/need. See the energy move to the center of the planet. You may be able to identify it, but you don’t have to. Watch your gauge, it may have moved upward. If not, take your psychic finger and move it up to 100%.

Sounds easy, right? It is!

Well, it is unless you’re not ready to release the reasons keeping you from having your healing.

Havingness is also about ownership. It’s about coming to the realization that this body was giving to YOU and YOU alone. The only thing that holds you prisoner in your own body is you. Once you realize that you create your prison or oasis you can take ownership of your creation and begin to create your own healing path — no matter how many times you’ve been hurt by others, used by others, given to others, your healing path can be no one’s but yours. Own it!

2 Comments on “Tool #4: The First Essential Step to Healing: Havingness”

  1. Do you ever think that you people come into this world with different levels of havingness?
    When I went to BPI there were statements made like” The kids now are coming into this world with
    high havingness.” Perhaps havingness has a connection with Karma. Psychics can raise or lower their havingness by giving readings, every time they give someone a spiritual hello, their good karma level is raised. Thus upping their own havingness levels.

    1. Hi Sal, absolutely! That’s a great point. I do we think come into the world with different havingness, and I would wager that our levels change based on our childhood and the havingness of adults around us – kind of like a reference point. I think that everyone can raise their havingness levels, not just psychics, but it takes the same sort of process – removing the energy blocks or belief systems getting in the way and raising vibrations. Thanks for commenting!

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