Change and Manifestation

It’s only April, but already 2012 is living up to its expectations as a year of change.  Not in the earth shattering, natural disaster, end-of-days type of change that has been such a popular drama in the media lately.  Instead, what I’ve been noticing is a pattern of destruction and rebirth.  Destruction of old habits, patterns, relationships, and values that are no longer healthy or serving and creation of those that do.  Perhaps because my personal life has taken to such dramatic change as to seem drastic, I have been attracting others who are sharing similar growth.  But nearly everyone I talk to lately is going through a period of intense change.

It’s been said that the only thing constant in the world is change, and that seems obvious when you sit at the ocean and watch the tides come and go, the waves build and fall, and over time, the sea cliffs fall into the ocean.  But historically, humans haven’t done very well with change.  For the most part, we are creatures of habit, and many of us feel safe in carefully constructed habitual patterns and daily rituals.  And Ayurvedically, healthy routines and patterns are considered good for the body and for the mind.  Healthy routines keep us grounded, our bodies regular, and our minds calm.  But can your current routine get you through big, life changes? Is your mind malleable enough to let the routine bend to shape the new life, and are you okay with idea of destroying a routine that’s not working in exchange for one that does, even if it’s uncomfortable for a while?  Those are the questions I’m currently considering in my own life.

I’m a big believer in manifestation.  What I mean is that I truly believe that if you are following your dharma, or your spiritual path, or you’re “in the flow,” then you have available to you the Universal energy needed to create the life you want.  An analogy I like to use is to think of a hand of cards — the dealer gives you your hand, and you didn’t necessarily know what it was going to be nor what game you’re playing. This is like fate; everyone has their own hand of cards.  But once you understand which game you’re playing (i.e. you’ve found your spiritual path), then you can choose to play your cards however you like, and you can even ask for more cards if you’re following the rules of the game (i.e staying on your spiritual path). This is your destiny, and the beauty of destiny is that you get to choose what it is.

What I’ve discovered in my own life is that I can choose to go off of my spiritual path — to play a different game with the cards that I’ve been handed.  But it’s often wrought with strife, and feels uncomfortable.  For the past several years, I’ve felt somewhat blocked in my pathway, and even though I believed I knew what was causing it, I was too afraid to make the changes necessary to get beyond the struggle.  And so I sat and I waited, and I looked for another way out (a different game to play), and I was generally unhappy, sometimes miserable, and very often felt helpless.

Most of you read my blog entries about India, and learned how my experience there really taught me (or forced me, maybe) to let go of a lot of the fear I had in my life.  When I came back to the U.S., I was no longer afraid of the repercussions of making the big changes I needed to make.  I could see how in the short term, the change would be uncomfortable — there would be grief, sadness, loss and pain.  But I could also very clearly see beyond the short term, and although the path was undefined (because it was waiting for my creation), it was bright, brilliant, and filled my heart with joy.

I’m an information gatherer.  I love using all types of sources to gather information about this life.  Many of you know that I am clairvoyant and often use my psychic skills to read friends and clients, and I receive the same information from others.  I also see a very researched, talented, gifted and caring astrologist in Laguna who provides invaluable information.  Psychic readings are like affirming what you already know but are too afraid to admit to yourself.  Astrology is like throwing a grid over the seeming incoherentness of your life and understanding that there are patterns to the seeming madness.  Anyway, with the help of these sources, along with the guidance of my daily mediation, I realized about a month ago that I had a lot of manifestation energy available to me in order to create my future.  So I sat down and did that.  I performed a simple ritual in which I thought of all of the things I wanted less of or to get rid of all together, and I wrote them onto paper.  I showed this paper to the universe, and I burned it to ash.  Next, I wrote down all the things I wanted to create in my life in the future and I put these strips of paper into a bowl on my alter.  Today, I woke up and realized that I have many of the things I wanted for the short term, and have planted seeds for my long-term creations.  There is nothing on my list that seems out of reach, and I dream big.

My point is this — change is coming, whether we like it or not.  Change is constant.  But when we’re really in flow of life, when we understand what our path is and accept it, then we can make decisions and changes based on our heart guiding us forward.  When we live with our heart leading, the changes we make will only open more doors of opportunity for us.  It may happen slower than you’d like, or it may happen faster than you’re comfortable with — that’s what happened to me.  I made one huge decision, sat down to create what I want, and it was as if everything was pushed through the “system” overnight.  Yes, creating this kind of change may create discomfort in your physical and emotional bodies.  It did mine, and so I gave myself specific time periods for dealing with those.  If I felt sad, I gave myself 30 or 60 minutes to get it all out, then I moved on.  If I wanted to eat chocolate and cheese puffs, I had a week to get it through my system before it was back to healthy food.  I gave myself permission to go to bed later and to sleep in if I needed to, and to not have an agenda besides the necessities.  But the point is that I was able to let go of what was no longer serving me, and when I did that, I could finally understand the huge amount of energy I spent being unhappy in my old situation.  I feel like a weight was lifted off of my shoulders and I have more energy to be myself, to get through my day, to be creative and witty and to give to others.

Change will happen.  And sometimes we don’t get to choose the changes that happen in our lives.  What we can choose is how we act or react according to change.  And that, in itself, is very powerful.

I’ll leave you with a quote that my friend gave me last November for my birthday.  I’ve thought of this quote often as I started making big changes in my life, and it has helped me.  I hope you like it as much as I do.  It’s from Pema Chodron.

Embarking on a spiritual journey is like getting into a very small boat and setting out on the ocean                  to search for unknown lands . . . . Like all explorers, we are drawn to discover what’s waiting out there without knowing yet if we have the courage to face it.

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